« Joelles Enigma or the Sprite Effect » (Novel2026). Extraits. We found love on a hopeless day. Where have you been all my life ?

« Chapter 1. The Kiss Dilemma and the Clitoris Debate
Now all the 8th Arrondissement is debating about Her Clitoris. Moroccans are shocked. Hum. The fear of Sex and Female Sexuality as described by Michel Foucault.

Do you have a religion Mister Zakriti ? Is your Wife Christian ? Big Debates. Big controversies. Do you go to Church you dirty atheist? Did you lick her cunt on the desk ? Did she drank your sperm under the desk or in the closet ? Did you sign anything in that sous-sol ? Is she manipulating you ? Are you with the « CIA » Mister Zakriti ? Daaaaaaaaamn. Deep shit. I just wanna lick my wife, and drink from her vagina the Végétale Ambroisie and la Liqueur de la Vie, who fucking cares about CIA or DGSE anymore.

Are you Jewish or Arab Mister Zakriti ? Neither bros, just give me a break and some biscuit and let me think of her ass and hips. Damn. Big debates. Im not even taking myself seriously dudes. Do you believe in Polyphonie, Structuralisme and Herméneutique and what is your Intertextualité ? I believe in Joelles Clitoris, that’s what I believe in and I forgot to bite her neck and her ass. Why so serious ? People ask stupid questions. I just wanna see Oregon and Grand Canyon and eat good meat and spend weekends fucking her in every possible positions and drinking different wines. God ? Wa LoL. I dont know. That’s the real answer. Jewish and/or Muslims ? I dont care. That’s the real answer. People forget the reality and get delusional. They ask « bourgeois question ». I just want good food and good sex and good wine and good money and good music and I wanna hear or moaning orgasms all night. Useless questions. Stupid questions. Rotten questions.
My spirituality is her Clitoris and her Butty, so will you give me a break ? « God » never told me not to drink alcohol. He told me to be a Decent Human being and to protect Nature. And to work the most Natural Way. God is probably into some Naturalism. But at the end I DONT KNOW. Call it rational skepticism or empirical agnosticism ou l’inverse, I dont know. We should re-read Lucrèce and Epicure and Démocrite and Michel Montaigne. Poor Michel Montaigne. My call? Find yourselves some good female and talk with her vagina and clitoris, life comes from there for a reason. Dont think too much. Dont get into hardcore speculations and élucubrations. Probably that even God get tired of the religious people. They use his name ALL DAY. I mean I get fedup of people because they keep talking about me EVERY SINGLE DAY. Sometimes Im in good mood so I say « Hello or Bijour ». Sometimes ça me tape sur les nerfs et ça percole le système nerveux. Imagine dozens of people staring at you and talking about you and your wife and your sex life ALL DAY. Sometimes I get SICK OF IT. Damn it. Never wanted to be a celebrity. But If Joelle really wants it we can even make love and publish the sextape on 4Chan, I just dont give a fuck. If it can calm peoples imagination. Freaks. There is Pegasus on my Computer ? They wanna see my dick and my ass and my skin problems ? No problems creeps, Im masturbating in front of my Computer every day :)) I think we could make millions by selling sex tapes, jesus fucking christ. Im not frustrated, my dick is just fine. I feel like people should have a fuck more often in Bordeaux to release the tension. And if they want my Novels and Poetry they must PAY, like for every Artist. When you go to a Concert or to the Movies or to a Show or to a Strip Club do you tell people « im communist I wanna enjoy your art and work for FREE » ? I have never « communists » dudes. And even Sovietic Artists were PAID.

Anyways. Talk to my hand and kiss my barbie. He got mad again.

Some people forgot that Vitalism and Pantheism are real religions. But this story isnt about religions. It’s about a woman. It’s about love. It’s about faith. It’s about how a real female can give meaning to life. And to Literature. It’s about Spinozian Love.
When he came to US Embassy that day, he had no idea. He had forgotten about love, he had forgotten about real female, and how much clitoris are savoureux and delicious. He had a « fight » with DGSI that day. And he was furious. They obviously didnt want to do their jobs, and they said that they had « links with the moroccan services ». They sous-entendaient that it’s normal for the Moroccan King to « spy and control his diaspora ». They implied that « they cant do anything about PEGASUS ».
When he came to US Embassy, the security of the American embassy refused to call someone from the DOS or the DOW in the beginning. But he insisted. Now he thinks about this song « We found love in a hopeless place ». People should make love more often in US Embassies. Now he is conviced that American Clitoris can bring peace on Earth. The only reason he didnt come to US Embassy in 2024-2025 is that he was afraid of AIPAC and possible links with Israel. He regreted going to Russian Embassy in the first place. But he told her everything. Everything. She was obviously hot and attractive and he felt her energy and her intensity when her ass was near him. She was obviously with the military and he could guess beautiful hips. But he was there for Political Asylum. She probably didnt know that her hands and her scares were making her more and more hot. She was clearly « not upper class ». She was probably from the « Big American South ». A latcheky kid from Kansas or Nebraska ? She seemed tough and very serious. He trusted her and she was inspiring respect and warmth. She had chaleur humaine in her. If he knew she would have feelings for him we would have fucked her on the desk and get married the same day. But he called her « Maa’am ». Because that’s the only word he knew in « good english ». She had a weird ring. If she asked him they could have made babies that day at the Embassy. It would have been a great story. No woman ever said « You are BRAVE Mounir, you are BRAVE ». With such intensity and sincerity. But he is always skeptical. Not paranoid but skeptical.

He never mentioned the « Israelis ». He knew it was Zionists Lobbies and DGED. But that sunny day he felt safe inside this small bureau of the US Embassy. He just remember those Symbols : « E Pluribus Unum » / « De Oppresso Liber » on the Wall. He was gonna ask her if he could spend a night in the US Embassy. Because he really needed some good sleep. He said « Im not asking you for money or sex and I have no Ego, and my only Ideology is Rationalim and Social Liberalism ». And he implied : I Want more than Sex or Money. I want a New Life in USA. A house, a home, a wife, a car, a gun, beef and barbecues, and 10 000 dollars per month. And he wanted to heal from Depression and Darkeness. He mentioned DGSE and DGSI à peine. Slightly. He gave her his personal passwords and he told her that she investigate all what she wants. He had nothing to hide. He just never ever considered that she wanted to marry him. He got almost used to insults, harrassments, « roastings », assaults, violence, threats. He didnt want to sound dramatical. He almost forgot to mention Khalil El Hajj the Lebanese, the threats and assaults, and the spying on his sexual life. Well he insisted that people were interfering in his privacy, but he didnt want to mention the word « spying » or « physical violence ». He didnt want to seem « dramatic » or « emotional blackmailing ». And it was difficult memories. He didnt even ask for her number or her name or her job/position. Now he did his calculs and his maths : she is the best female he will have. To beg him ? Wa lol. He is the one begging for his ring and marriage and for going home. […]/// »

(First version of Chapter 1, in « Joelles Enigma or the sprite effect », Novel 2026, by Mounir Zakriti, 13/06/2026, Pessac, Bordeaux, France. For publication as New American Literature)

E Pluribus Unum_De Oppresso Liber
Life is calling again.